


26: Hawaii 5-0 Edition

by Tkeyla



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkeyla/pseuds/Tkeyla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random observations about Steve and Danny. If I continue, the series will include random observations of the entire team. (I wrote a series like this for Star Trek and had great fun with it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

26 Things Danny Found in the Pockets of Steve’s Cargo Pants

 **Alcohol pads:** “Isn’t this taking _always be prepared_ a little far?”  
“Better safe than sorry.”  
 **Band-Aids:** “Tell me you did not take Grace’s princess band aids.”  
“They were the only ones I could find in the house.”  
 **Clips for his gun:** “Are you planning to invade a small country?”  
“That’s classified.”  
“I hate you so much.”  
“No you don’t.”  
 **Dog tags** : “Old habits die hard.”  
“I know Babe. I know.”  
 **Excedrin** : “I carry it for you.”  
“Right. Because you ninja your headaches into submission.”  
 **Forceps** : “No. Just no.”  
“You’ll be glad I have them next time you are shot.”  
“You are _not_ using them on me.”  
 **Gum** : “At least that’s normal.”  
“I’m normal.”  
“You keep believing that.”  
 **Handcuffs** : “Do you really need four sets?”  
“You never know.”  
 **iPhone** : “Why am I not your #1 speed dial?”  
“Because Grace is.”  
“Then I forgive you.”  
“I knew you would.”  
 **Jumper cables** : “How did you find a set small enough to carry in your _pocket?..._ That smile is _not_ an answer, Steven.”  
 **Keys** : “Why shouldn’t I have my own set for the Camaro?”  
“ _My_ Camaro you mean?”  
“Sure. It’s the only one we have.”  
 **Laser sighting** : “It makes a good telescope on stakeouts.”  
“Except you look like a pirate when you use it.”  
“Arrrgh.”  
 **Miranda rights** : “So you do know they exist.”  
“Just because I don’t use them doesn’t mean I don’t understand the purpose behind them.”  
“Right. It’s the _not_ using part that’s the problem.”  
 **Nunchucks** : “Are these even legal?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You have no idea.”  
“No?”  
 **Opera glasses:** “I’m not even going to ask.”  
“It’s for the best.”  
 **Paycheck stub:** “You don’t make more than I do?”  
“You have more experience, Danno.”  
“But you’re in charge.”  
“In name only.”  
“There is that.”  
 **Quarters** : “Why do you have $21.75 in quarters? How can you carry all those around?”  
“I was going to take Grace to the arcade. You know, before the warehouse blew up.”  
“Before you blew up the warehouse you mean.”  
 **Rope** : “There’s enough here to scale a small skyscraper.”  
“And your point?”  
 **Subpoena** : “Were you planning to tell me you were being called to testify in front of Congress? You know, before you left?”  
“I was hoping you’d come to DC with me. Rachel already said we could take Gracie. Since it would be educational.”  
“Oh. Well. Okay.”  
 **Tape** : “Even you don’t need 3 rolls of duct tape.”  
“I don’t want to run out.”  
 **Umbrellas** : “From Joe’s drinks?”  
“Yep. He didn’t want to be seen with them.”  
“Why doesn’t he just ask that they leave them off?”  
“Uhmmm….”  
 **Vicodan** : “This for me too?”  
“Do you need some?”  
“Do you? Are you hiding something from me? Steven, come back here this instant.”  
 **Whip** : “For the last time, you are _not_ Indiana Jones.”  
“I could be.”  
“That’s never been in doubt.”  
 **X-rays** : “Well, carrying around my old x-rays on a flash drive speeds things up at the emergency room.”  
“As much as I want, I can’t argue with that.”  
 **Yellow police tape** : “You know HPD usually takes care of putting this up at a crime scene.”  
“Oh, this isn’t for a crime scene, Danno.”  
“You have a very dirty mind.”  
“And aren’t you glad?”  
 **Zip ties** : “Because 4 pair of handcuffs aren’t  enough?”  
“You never know.”

  



	2. 26 Ways Danny Knew Steve and Grace Loved Each Other Unconditionally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More randomness. This one includes Grace. Because in my world-view, Danny, Steve, and Grace are ohana.

26 Ways Danny Knew Steve and Grace Loved Each Other Unconditionally

 **Airplane** : “You don’t have to take her up in an airplane.”  
“But it’s her birthday. And I promised.”  
“All right.”  
 **Barbies** : “You know you can tell her no, Babe.”  
“And disappoint her? I’d rather chew my own arm off.”  
“All right. I’ll get your Barbie shoes to match that dress tomorrow.”  
 **Crayons** : “You didn’t color as a child, did you?”  
“I colored!”  
“Then why are you still working on that Disney Princess coloring book when Grace left an hour and a half ago?”  
 **Dad** : “Danno, do you think it would be okay if I call Steve Dad?”  
“Absolutely, Monkey. He’d be thrilled.”  
“Me too.”  
 **Erector set** : “So this was yours when you were little?”  
“Yeah, Gracie, it was.”  
“Cool. Can we build another skyscraper for GI Joe to climb?”  
“Whatever you want.”  
 **Face paint** : “I have to say, the daisy suits you, Babe.”  
“Shut up Danno.”  
“No really. I also like the little rainbow on your forehead.”  
 **Glitter** : “How was I supposed to know glitter wouldn’t come out of my hair?”  
“Did I or did I not warn you _not_ to let her anywhere near you with it?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Come here you big Goof. I’ll scrub it out for you.”  
 **Hot rollers** : “Monkey, Steve’s hair is really too short for you to curl it.”  
“But he said he doesn’t mind.”  
“All right. Just don’t burn him, please.”  
 **Icing** : “If Grace wants pink icing on these cupcakes then that’s what she’ll have.”  
“I’m not questioning your culinary abilities, Babe. Just the amount you are putting on each one.”  
“Well. She’s passing them out a school so we won’t have to deal with the sugar rush.”  
“There is that.”  
 **Justin Bieber** : “I really am sorry.”  
“It’s fine, Danno. The concert will only last, what, another hour?”  
“Or two.”  
“Ohhhh….”  
“Yeah. Do you want me to take her for a while?”  
“Nah. She’s fine. And if she’s on your shoulders, she won’t be able to see the stage.”  
“That’s cold, Steve. Real cold.”  
 **Kisses** : “I guarantee these kisses will heal your boo-boo even faster than band-aids.”  
“That’s what Danno always says.”  
“And we know better than to argue with Danno.”  
 **Laughter** : “We’ve watched that movie at least 100 times with her.”  
“I know. But it makes her so happy, I can’t help but laugh.”  
“It’s a good look on you. Even better than the daisy or the rainbow.”  
“You promised you’d never mention those again.”  
“My bad.”  
 **Milk and cookies** : “You make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, Dad.”  
“Thank you Gracie-face.”  
“Will you teach me to make them?”  
“Of course. Any time.”  
 **Nightmares** : “It’s okay, Gracie. Dad’s got you.”  
“You’re here.”  
“Of course I am. You don’t need to cry.”  
“I dreamed you left. And I never got to see you again.”  
“It was just a nightmare, Baby. I’ll never leave you.”  
 **Orange juice** : “Juice from a carton is fine, Steve.”  
“It’s not a problem. I have all these oranges already. And when you have a cold, you need fresh-squeezed.”  
“I think you need to make it for her more than she needs to drink it.”  
“You’re probably right.”  
 **Pillow fights** : “It only took me 20 minutes to vacuum them all up.”  
“You are a marshmallow, my friend. A complete marshmallow.”  
“And she surrendered.”  
“You’re _proud_ of beating Gracie in a _pillow_ fight?”  
“Proud might be a little strong.”  
 **Quiche** : “I had no idea she loved quiche. How did you know and I didn’t?”  
“Did you ever ask her, Danno?”  
“Well. No.”  
 **Roses** : “Where did you get all these roses?”  
“I ordered them. From Jackson and Perkins.”  
“That’s where the ones in front of my mom’s house came from.”  
“I know. Grace picked them out.”  
“Oh.”  
 **Sports** : “You explained football, baseball, _and_ hockey to her?”  
“Yeah. She asked.”  
“You don’t even like baseball or hockey.”  
“But you do.”  
 **Tiara** : “I swear I will kill you in your sleep if you show anyone that picture.”  
“You don’t scare me. You know that, right?”  
“In your sleep, Danno. In your sleep.”  
 **Unrequited love** : “I know it hurts, Baby. I understand.”  
“You aren’t going to kill him, are you, Dad?”  
“Do you want me to?”  
“I guess not.”  
“All right.”  
 **Valentine’s Day Dance** : “I apologize, Governor. I have to cut our meeting short.”  
“A prior commitment, Commander?”  
“Yes sir. One I can’t be late getting to.”  
“Very well. We’ll finish up tomorrow.”  
“Thank you, sir.”  
 **Walt Disney World** : “I got to be honest, Babe. Never did I think I’d see you at Disney World.”  
“I wasn’t going to let Grace come all this way without us.”  
“And how exactly did she get to be the Grand Marshal of the parade?”  
“Old Navy buddy?”  
“Are you asking me or telling me?”  
“It’s classified, Danno.”  
“You are not nearly as cute as you think.”  
“Yeah I am.”  
 **X-rated movies** : “I never meant for you to throw them away, Babe.”  
“I know. But I’d rather get rid of them than risk Grace finding them.”  
“Thank you.”  
 **Yarn** : “But she could decide tomorrow not to knit ever again.”  
“I know that.”  
“Then why did you order her cashmere yarn, Steve?”  
“Because she said it would make a perfect scarf for you to wear when you visit your family in New Jersey.”  
“Our family, Babe.”  
 **Ziploc containers** : “How many chocolate chip cookies did you send her?”  
“Several. Dozen. Twelve dozen.”  
“She’ll be home in another week.”  
“But she misses our cookies.”  
“She misses us more.”  
“Not as much as we miss her.”  
“You are right about that, Babe.”


	3. 26 Places Steve and Danny Have Had Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the lid. Heavily implied slashiness of the Steve/Danny variety.

26 Places Steve and Danny Have Had Sex

 **Airport** : “We could have waited until we got back to our house.”  
“I’ve been sitting next to you without being able to touch you for 13 hours. That’s way too long.”  
“I know how you feel, Babe.”  
 **Beach** : “It’s not nearly as romantic as it looks in the movies.”  
“I could have told you that, Danno. But you insisted we try it.”  
“Funny. That’s not the way I remember it.”  
 **Chin’s Office** : “He finds out, he will kill us.”  
“Totally worth it, Danno.”  
 **Danny’s Office** : “You know they know what you just did….a shrug and a smile is _not_ an answer, Steven.”  
 **Every room in the house (almost):** “No. Absolutely not. We are not having sex in Grace’s bedroom.”  
“It’s the only room we haven’t christened.”  
“NO. Get away from me, you animal. I mean it.”  
“You spoil all my fun.”  
“This is our daughter’s room, Steven. Even if she’s not scarred for life, I would be.”  
 **Front seat of the Camaro** : “That gearshift will need to be replaced.”  
“I think I can read the gear symbols on your butt.”  
“I don’t need to know that, Babe.”  
 **Garage** : “I can’t believe you pulled your gun on me.”  
“It’s our anniversary, Danno.”  
“Okay. Drop your pants and I’ll forgive you.”  
 **Hallway of H5-0 Headquarters:** “You said they had left.”  
“They did. How could I know they’d be back?”  
“I am going to kill you.”  
“At least wait until they leave again.”  
 **Interrogation Room** : “Only you would find these eerie blue lights sexy.”  
“It’s not the lights, Danno. It’s you.”  
“Oh. Okay. But next time I get to be ‘prisoner.’”  
“Deal.”  
 **Kono’s Office** : “Are you sure this is where she parks her bike?”  
“You better hope so because if she figures out what we did, she will kill us both.”  
“I’m all too aware, Danno.”  
 **Laundromat** : “I swear you broke our washer on purpose so you could lure me in here in the middle of the night.”  
“Shhh…you’re breaking the mood.”  
“We’re in a laundromat. We left _the mood_ outside the doors.”  
 **Max’s Office** : “OMFG. We have hit a new low.”  
“The corpses aren’t going to tell anyone.”  
“Thank God. I have a feeling Max could kill us so no one would ever suspect him.”  
“Probably.”  
 **Naval Museum** : “If I’d known you would react like this, I’d have brought you here a lot sooner.”  
“Seriously, Steven. You know how I feel about you in your uniform. You had to know what it’d do to me to be here.”  
“I hoped.”  
 **Ocean** : “I guess Danno can swim.”  
“Shut up and concentrate.”  
“You got it.”  
 **Pier** : “We’ll never get all the splinters out of my butt.”  
“Totally worth it though.”  
“You’re not the one laying face down on our bed so you can do field surgery.”  
“They are just splinters, Danno. Not shrapnel.”  
“Only you would think that should make me feel better.”  
 **Quick-Mart** : “We’ve have officially reached a _new_ new low.”  
“I don’t know. The airport bathroom might have been worse.”  
“There is that.”  
 **Rest area off the Jersey Turnpike** : “You know, regular people would have just rented a hotel room while visiting their parents.”  
“You said we had to stay at their house.”  
“I’m starting to reconsider that decision.”  
 **Steve’s Office** : “Dear God. I thought he’d never leave.”  
“Good thing you are _fun-sized_ so you fit under my desk.”  
“We are never having sex again.”  
“You say that now.”  
 **Truck bed** : “You’re right. This is a great place to watch the fireworks.”  
“And make some of our own.”  
“Roger that, Super SEAL.”  
 **Under the Boardwalk** : “Could we be any more cliché?”  
“It was your idea.”  
“Hawaii doesn’t have boardwalks. We had to do it here.”  
“I’m not complaining.”  
 **Verandah** : “You’re right. Australia is beautiful.”  
“Of course I’m right.”  
“How did you know?...Oh. It’s _classified_.”  
“Sure. Let’s go with that.”  
 **Washington Monument** : “I can’t believe your Navy credentials were enough to get us to the top.”  
“Why do you think it’s closed to civilians?”  
“You use it to _spy_ on people?”  
“That’s…”  
“Classified. Yeah, I could have guessed.”  
 **X-ray lab** : “How do they think they can just leave you down here for this long when you have a broken arm?”  
“At least we found a way to distract me.”  
 **Yellowstone Park** : “Wyoming is beautiful this time of year.”  
“How would you know? We’ve barely seen the outside of this tent.”  
 **Zamboni** : “Why am I even surprised this isn’t the first time you’ve driven one?”  
“I am a man of many talents.”  
“As you have proved over and over again. Lucky me.”  
“Me too, Danno. Me too.”


	4. 26 Reasons Danny Reluctantly Admitted that Hawaii Wasn’t As Horrible As He Liked to Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the lid. Maybe, just possibly, Hawaii isn't as bad as Danny wants to pretend.

**Aloha** : “Tell me again, Steven, why one word should mean hello _and_ good-bye?”  
“It means ‘I love you’ too Danno.”  
“Aloha, Steve.”  
 **Beaches** : “I knew you’d come around.”  
“I’m only here because Grace likes it so much.”  
“Okay, Danno, you keep telling yourself that.”  
“You might have a little something to do with it. But I’ll never admit it and inflate your oversized ego even more.”  
“You say the sweetest things.”  
 **Camaro** : “Of course it’s the coolest car. Even if I don’t get to drive it.”  
“What did you drive in Jersey?”  
“A Crown Vic like every other police force.”  
“Oh. No wonder you picked the Camaro.”  
“Yeah. If only I got to actually _drive_ it once in a while.”  
“That’s not going to work.”  
“I noticed.”  
 **Danno** : “I never thought I’d let anyone else call me that.”  
“You never counted on meeting me.”  
“I could have never imagined someone like you existed.”  
“Thank you…wait…did you just insult me, Danno?”  
 **Edwards, Rachel** : “I can assure you that I never thought we’d actually be _friends_.”  
“Better than at each other’s throats all the time.”  
“You are so right about that, my friend.”  
 **Five-0** : “I could do with fewer explosions. And near-death experiences. And more following of standard procedure.”  
“Admit it. You’re glad I made you part of the team.”  
“Yeah, Steve, you’re right. I am glad. Just try to keep us alive, okay?”  
“You got it, Danno.”  
 **Grace Williams** : “Are you sure you want to spend all weekend with me and Grace? We’re going back-to-school shopping.”  
“Miss the chance to pick out new notebooks and pencils? I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”  
“You are completely in love with her too, aren’t you?”  
“Yeah. Grace and her father.”  
“Ditto, Babe.”  
 **Hula** : “You keep looking at those dancers like that, Danno, and you’re sleeping on the couch. For the rest of your life.”  
“You are the one who insisted we come to this luau, Steven.”  
“To investigate the owner of the resort. Not to eye-hump the dancers.”  
 **Island Time:** “You’ve come a long way, Danno. Wasn’t so long ago you hated the idea of Island Time.”  
“Well. The longer it takes them to show up, the longer we have to ourselves. Now put that mouth of yours to good use.”  
 **Jealousy:** “Honest to God, Steve. Those women are only interested in you.”  
“That’s so not true. They want you. In every way possible.”  
“Doesn’t matter. I’m already taken.”  
“They keep it up and I’m arresting them.”  
“I don’t think ‘eye humping my partner’ will stand up in court.”  
“You sure?”  
 **Kono, Chin Ho Kelly, Kamekona** : “You are my _ohana._ And nothing will ever change that.”  
“We feel the same way, _brah_.”  
 **Luau:** “No, Steven, I don’t care how many times Grace asks you, you are not teaching her the ‘real’ way to hula.”  
“She can wear a regular bathing suit under her grass skirt.”  
“No. Just no. I’ll never be able to go to another luau again.”  
“All the more reason for me to teach her.”  
“Smug is not a good look on you, babe.”  
 **Monkey** : “Why do you call her that, Danno?”  
“Classified.”  
“I hate you so much right now.”  
“No you don’t.”  
 **Navy:** “You didn’t have to come with me to the Pearl Harbor Ceremony, Danny.”  
“You did so I did too.”  
“My dress blues wouldn’t have anything to do with that decision, would it?”  
“I plead the 5th.”  
 **Ohana** : “Of course we had to come over, Danny. You can’t be expected to deal with Steve’s deployment by yourself.”  
“Thank you, Kono. What would I do without you and Chin?”  
“You’ll never have to find out. That’s a promise.”  
 **Pineapple** : “Okay, I don’t mind it in a salad.”  
“Or when I make an upside down cake.”  
“Or when I play ‘ring toss’.”  
“You promised never to mention that in public, Danno.”  
“My bad.”  
 **Quilt** : “I guess we don’t need to put it on our bed.”  
“Of course we do, Danno. Your mom made it for us. That’s reason enough.”  
“She always makes a wedding ring quilt when one of her kids gets married.”  
“Then it has to be on our bed every night.”  
 **Rambo** : “I was in the NAVY, Danny. The Navy!”  
“Point still stands. You take on three hostiles by yourself, _Rambo_ is the least of the things I can think to call you.”  
 **Steve** : “You were in love with Rachel.”  
“But never like this.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah.”  
 **Tsunamis** : “You are supposed to be worried by the idea of a tsunami, Danno.”  
“I’ve lived through blizzards and hurricanes. The way I see it if we have to seek shelter, we’ll be together with nothing to do but, you know, be together.”  
“I’m not sure I follow your logic.”  
“Don’t even try.”  
 **Umbrellas** : “No. You and Grace frolic in the ocean. I’m perfectly happy sitting here in the shade.”  
“Oh right - Danno don’t swim.”  
“Super SEAL don’t get any if he keeps it up.”  
“Any what, Daddy?”  
 **Vacations** : “I told you I don’t mind going to New Jersey, Danny.”  
“I know. But it’s snowing. And really cold, especially with the wind-chill. And…oh God. I’ve gone native, haven’t I?”  
“I’m afraid so.”  
“You can get that smirk off your face right now, Babe.”  
 **Water** : “You know, there was a time you couldn’t sleep _because_ of the sound of waves.”  
“I think we’ve already established that I’ve gone native. You don’t need to keep reminding me.”  
“I like to remind you that I won.”  
“Didn’t know it was a contest.”  
“Yep. Me versus New Jersey.”  
“And you thought there was any chance you’d lose?”  
 **Xanax** : “Why is it in your suitcase, Danno?”  
“I used to need it. To deal with…everything.”  
“This bottle expired 6 years ago.”  
“What else happened 6 years ago, Steven?”  
“We got married.”  
“Exactly.”  
 **Yes** : “I have to marry you, Danno. I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”  
“Except Grace.”  
“That goes without saying.”  
 **Zero** : “I told you I’m in Hawaii forever. Or longer.”  
“I know. But sometimes I worry you’ll decide to return to New Jersey.”  
“You know what the chances of that are, Babe.”  
  
  
  



	5. 26 Things Steve Couldn’t Imagine In His Life. Until Danny Williams Took It Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the lid.

26 Things Steve Couldn’t Imagine In His Life. Until Danny Williams Took It Over  
  
 **Aerobics:** “If I have to hear ‘Everybody Have Fun Tonight’ one more time I’m going to punch somebody.”  
“Calm down, Smooth Dog. We’ll be done in 10 more minutes.”  
“Why can’t we just run up the side of a mountain like real men?”  
“Because every time I let you outside, you break your arm or I tear my ACL or someone tries to shoot us.”  
“There is that.”  
 **Ballroom Dancing:** “I already know how to dance, Danno.”  
“Well, I don’t. And I can’t take lessons alone.”  
“Why do you want to learn to dance anyway?”  
“So I’ll be ready when Grace gets married. You know, in 10 or 14 or 35 years.”  
“All right. I’ll do it.”  
“But you are _not_ to flirt with the instructor.”  
“Not even a little?”  
 **Cartoons** : “It doesn’t matter that he can’t really live in a pineapple, Steven.”  
“But it’s stupid. And it gives kids an unrealistic idea of undersea life.”  
“It’s a _cartoon._ Not a documentary.”  
“We’re taking her scuba diving so she can see how sponges really live.”  
“All right. Providing you stop complaining about the _cartoon.”_  
“No promises.”  
 **Driving Lessons** : “This is _not_ my fault, Steven, so stop with the pouting…you can ignore me all you want. I’m not the one who lost his license….Did you not _see_ the stop sign?... Why did I say I’d teach you?... You owe me so much sex after this.”  
 **Elope** : “We could have a regular ceremony.”  
“You are the one who didn’t want to deal with the flowers and the gifts and the guests and the catering and the….”  
“Okay. You’re right, Danno. Eloping is better.”  
 **Fall in love** : “You’ve never been in love before, Babe?”  
“Not like this, Danno.”  
“Me neither.”  
 **Gravy** : “It’s called sauce, Danny. Sauce.”  
“We Italians call it gravy, Steven. Gravy.”  
“No. Just no.”  
“It’s still the best you’ve ever had, no matter what my mom calls it.”  
“Can’t argue with that.”  
 **Hip-hop** : “They are not going to believe we are anything but cops, Danno.”  
“Record producers. That’s our cover. Now try to keep to the beat.”  
“Easier said than done.”  
“And I thought I was the whitest person alive. I see now I was wrong.”  
“At least I’m not a haole.”  
“That’s low, Babe. Real low.”  
 **Interpreter** : “You’ve lived here for 5 years, Danny. You should understand us natives by now.”  
“I’m learning, Babe. The words I know the best aren’t ones I can use in public.”  
“That’s true.”  
“You are just adorable when you blush.”  
“SEALs don’t blush.”  
“You’re secret’s safe with me.”  
 **Juice boxes** : “What is wrong with a glass of juice?”  
“How is Gracie going to take a glass of juice to school?”  
“Oh. Okay. Are you sure this is enough?”  
“I think 2 dozen is good for now, Babe.”  
 **Krispy Kreme Doughnuts** : “Better than malsadas?”  
“OMG. You have no idea.”  
“I guess I will once the plane lands.”  
“You are right about that.”  
 **Listening** : “Kono told me you said your ears start bleeding.”  
“I never said any such thing, Danno. She was kidding you.”  
“Why would she say that then?”  
“I don’t know. I’ll listen to anything you have to say any time you want to say it.”  
 **Monkey** : “Uncle Steve, what do you think we should get Danno for Christmas?”  
“How about 3 tickets to New Jersey?”  
“Perfect.”  
“Just like you, Grace-face.”  
 **Nonsense** : “That doesn’t even make sense, Danno.”  
“So? Made you laugh. That’s all that matters.”  
“Yeah.”  
 **Oprah** : “No. I am not going to waste this beautiful afternoon watching TV with you.”  
“Fine. Go run up the side of your mountain. I’ll be right here learning all about Brad and Angelina.”  
“Who?”  
“Never mind. Just go.”  
“Wait. Who is that woman?”  
“Oh sure. _Now_ you’re interested.”  
 **Popcorn** : “Why does everything have to be nutritional? Popcorn’s not going to hurt you.”  
“It’s not going to help either.”  
“Help what? It’s a snack, Steven. No one is suggesting we have it for dinner.”  
“Like you never have.”  
“That’s not the point.”  
 **Quality time:** “I can’t believe I actually convinced you to leave the dishes and the laundry and the vacuuming to lay in the hammock with me.”  
“Shhh…. You’re destroying the mood.”  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to disrupt your Zen, Steven.”  
 **Rollerblades** : “This is a really bad idea, Danno.  
“You should know. You’ve had more than your share of them.”  
“Then why are we doing it?”  
“Because Grace wants to learn.”  
“One more time around the track then.”  
 **Springsteen:** “So I’ll ask Kono if she will go with me.”  
“You don’t want me to go, Danno?”  
“Of course. But I didn’t exactly think the Boss’s concert would be your cup of tea.”  
“I want to go because you do.”  
“It’s settled then.”  
 **Timeouts:** “Danny said you can come out of your office now, Boss.”  
“I’m in charge. I still don’t understand how he can put me in timeout.”  
“You aren’t really in charge. We just let you believe that.”  
“Yeah.”  
 **Understanding:** “There is nothing in your past that could make me love you any less.”  
“I’ve done some…unspeakable things, Danno.”  
“That doesn’t make you less than who you are, Babe.”  
“I don’t think that makes sense but thank you.”  
 **Vibrators:** “No. Absolutely not.”  
“Come on, Babe. Live a little.”  
“No. Not going to happen.”  
“Your loss.”  
“Danno? Danno…maybe I have changed my mind.”  
“Get your own. This one is mine now.  
 **Wishing on a star** : “That one right there. That one is yours, Uncle Steve.”  
“But I have everything I want, Gracie.”  
“Then I’ll use your wish.”  
“You can have all my wishes.”  
 **XLVIII:** “Because you promised that if the Jets ever made it to the Super Bowl, you would go with me.”  
“That was before I knew it was going to be played in Minnesota. In February.”  
“Promise is a promise, Babe. We’ll buy you a down parka when we get there.”  
“I am not wearing anything with feathers in it.”  
 **Yelling** : “I never yelled before I met you.”  
“I find that hard to believe. SEALs don’t yell?”  
“War cries. That’s different.”  
“You keep believing that.  
 **Zone-out** : “It’s like quality time. Only…different.”  
“Different how Danno? We’re still just laying here not doing the chores.”  
“Shhh….you’re destroying _my_ Zen.”  
  



End file.
